"You can get used to anything. Adjustment is just a matter of attitude." It's the sentence used to talk a young person out of leaving a job that's quietly draining them.
Why so many Kerala families believe it
There's a grain of truth in it — humans do adapt to a lot — which is exactly what makes it such an effective way to end a real conversation.
What's actually true
You can get used to most things. What varies enormously between people is the price — and the price is paid every week, whether or not anyone can see it. Two colleagues can hold the same post at the same salary; one goes home with something left over, the other goes home empty. Both are 'adjusting.' Only one is doing it sustainably.
So 'it's just attitude' hides the real question. Adjustment isn't free willpower; it's an ongoing cost that some people can carry cheaply in a given role and others cannot. Calling a bad fit an attitude problem just moves the blame onto the person paying the highest price.
What to do instead
Instead of asking 'can I get used to this?', ask 'what does adjusting to this cost me each week, and is it sustainable?' If a role drains you far more than it does others in the same seat, that's information about fit, not a failure of attitude. Weigh the ongoing price honestly before deciding to stay.
Want the full picture, honestly?
This is one of dozens of decisions we untangle in Kerala Career Compass — After Graduation — and in a free counselling session at Veda Topper, Irinjalakuda.
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Frequently asked questions
Is being unhappy at work just an attitude problem?
No. People can adjust to most things, but the weekly price varies enormously by fit. Two people in the same role can pay very different costs. Calling a bad fit 'attitude' just blames the person paying most — the real question is whether the cost is sustainable.
How do I know whether to stay in a draining job?
Ask what adjusting costs you each week and whether it's sustainable — not whether you can force yourself to endure it. If the role drains you far more than others in the same seat, that's a signal about fit, worth weighing honestly.